Saying NO is Selfless.
Despite what we have been taught, I have a new idea to present to you: Saying NO can be a selfless act of growth and empowerment for both parties.
Selflessness and Selfishness are two terms that have haunted me for the entirety of my life. I grew up in a family that struggled to say no to others, and in turn, they struggled to support us. Because my parents had the inability to say no, I was taught that saying no is selfish. I learned that saying no meant that you only cared about yourself.
This belief chased me all the way through college and into my career, as I struggled to support myself and everyone around me. However, Life ensured that I would be unable to keep this belief, as it brought me the exact situation that I needed to wake up: Network Marketing.
Being the helpful person I was, I was ready to change the world. I was ready to help everyone find success, and this allowed me to attract thousands of people… who needed lots of help.
I took the lessons, and here I am finally making lemonade at 27 as I am coming to the finale of my great awakening into consciousness and into truth.
When I woke up a little over a year ago, I was exhausted, under-weight, supporting people who were twice my age, ignoring my children, and ironically unable to build my own business because I was supporting everyone who ‘needed help.’
Saying YES can be very easy and selfish. It is exactly what we are programmed to do.
Yes, I said selfish. Why?
Because I was rendering everyone I helped as useless in their own business. Out of all of the people I had ‘helped,’ the majority failed to increase their income. They failed to become empowered and independent, because I was there to do it for them.
As I ran around ‘helping’ with task after task I realized… telling my team NO was the only way to help them build their businesses.
NO helps them. NO wakes them up. And NO is what they need.
After all, I had never asked my sponsor for help… I relied on my own inner guidance, skills, resourcefulness to build my business, just as I had done previously with my successful LLC.
I began to realize that successful people don’t run around asking for help. If they need help they find it, and they are always willing to pay for it. They are always willing to invest in their self and the help that they receive.
They use the internet, where they can find any information that they need for free. They build the life they want without expecting a single thing from anyone else.
Alas, we have been duped by our stories, archetypes, religions, culture, media, education, and each other.
Duped in a way that renders many ‘helpful’ people useless as they are crushed by the energetic weight of those around them. We truly do not understand how much expectations weigh, but let me tell you, they weigh enough to cause a nervous breakdown in the most stable of people.
Life is but a dream, and you are the dreamer. You have the ability to form your dream into whatever reality you want. We know that we live in a mental universe. We know that our inner reality creates our outer reality.
And when a dreamer leaves his own dream to help another in theirs, we can expect that his own dream will begin to crumble the longer he is gone. However, this is the expectation of our entire society, and if you don’t abide… you are selfish.
Suns do not leave their solar system to help other suns.
Animals do not leave their young to help other animals.
Yet, our own human religions, stories, and archetypes are all infiltrated with this delusion. And it simply isn’t natural. It simply isn’t Reality.
We have this giant system of support. We all give up every day of our lives to support other people as we leave our families to go to work, and leave our children with people much less capable of raising them than ourselves. Meanwhile we know our education system is failing. Our medical system, and pharmaceutical systems are failing. Our political systems are failing. And we proudly argue about these failing systems while continuing to support them all.
This system of support is beginning to crumble, because the truth cannot be ignored any longer. With access to information, we are beginning to wake up on a massive scale. And it is time for us to begin saying NO.
NO wakes people up. It helps them become an empowered person who is capable of creating the life that they want instead of depending on, and expecting others to create it for them.
Saying NO can be the best thing that you can do for yourself and everyone around you as we all come into our own realities, to find our own centers, our own inner guidance, and ability to make decisions.
Maybe you have noticed that we are completely incapable of making our own decisions? And this is purposeful. It is the weapon of choice. It keeps us down, ‘helping’ each other into oblivion, while focusing on distractions and community to numb the pain that comes with the delusion.
The sad reality is, no one knows you like you know you. No one knows what is best for you, like you do. And in this mess, we have become unable to trust ourselves as we are completely unable to make a decision without involving others. We ask for advice, we tell people our problems, we expect them to care… but they can’t, because they haven’t received the same experiences and lessons. They can never understand what another is going through or what another needs… because they aren’t even able to answer those questions for their self.
We don’t know ourselves.
Therefore we don’t know each other.
Therefore, all of this ‘helping’ we do, is actually hurting.
As the world wakes up, we will come to understand how important it is to learn how to make our own decisions. Because if we don’t figure it out, we will continue to live in hell loops of our own making.
Because life isn’t what you expect it to be… but it is always what you allow it to be.
I allowed myself to lose my life to others.
I allowed myself to stop building my business.
I allowed my family to stay in debt.
I allowed other people to raise my children.
I allowed myself to become distant from my family and friends.
I allowed too much, and in doing so, there was nothing left of me.
My over allowance seemed to reproduce as people tried to duplicate me, and I realized that this ‘yes-mess’ is the real root of evil. I watched other leaders crumble as they tried to mimic my helpful demeanor. And today I aim to correct my actions.
((Now don’t get me wrong, of course there are times to say yes. And you will begin to understand when to say yes with a new sense of clarity as you strengthen your power of NO. Your higher intelligence will begin to shine through, seeing the correct opportunities to apply your energy with confidence and ease. ))
A year later, I am awake and ready to try again… and I thank LIFE for network marketing, because I had an entire year of freedom to find myself again.
I left my team to fend for theirselves and no one died!
And today, as I come back, I will ensure that they continue to fend for theirselves, because now I know… it is the only way to build a business, and wake up to who they are.
In my obsession to help others wake up, I have realized that I can’t help them… but my power of NO can.
I will wield NO in order to help my current organization, and also as a tool to find people who are an energetic match to my new found sense of self. My goals is to build an organization of self-empowered, independent business owners.
I know that I am not capable of helping anyone… except myself, and therefore I don’t expect anyone else to help anyone but theirself. This is unconditional love. This space, and freedom in creativity and beliefs. Standing beside each other in our power as we change our realities into our dreams.
Throughout my journey I realized that we need more education on SELF, especially as personal development is pushing more people into awakening than ever before. If you are looking to come into your own sense of empowerment, we would love to welcome you to our community. Join our SHIFT group for $5 per month.
If you are looking for an opportunity to be an independent business owner, join us in our opportunity.
I would love to work with you, as you come into yourself. I will stand by you with a detached and unconditional love as you do the work for yourself and by yourself.
Let’s grow. Let’s shift. Let’s redistribute this wealth as we wreck the program to find our truths while creating a better world.
This is a very tricky subject, and this information is only apparent after awakening. Check out this article by Evolving Beings for a more gentle read on selfishness vs. selflessnes & setting healthy boundaries.
If you are looking to find your own power to say no, check out my favorite ‘no’ book – ‘Your Power To Say No’ by Vernon Howard, where he claims that NO is the only tool you need to come into true reality and find yourself.