Growth vs. Acceptance

Discovering The Cycle

We’ve been getting hit with a lot of energy, and even if you don’t necessarily believe in the planetary shift, this information can greatly change your life.

This blog will help you navigate the amplifying energy, so you can get back to peace as you learn to accept and transmute scary thoughts and emotions in order to begin fully accepting yourself.

The Conflict

Many people look at growth and acceptance as conflicting ideals:

‘If I want to grow I cannot accept where and who I am.’

‘If I want to accept who and where I am I cannot change and grow.’

This is a double edge sword that doesn’t make any sense!

In my opinion, growth and acceptance are the same thing, and together, they form a self-sustaining cycle of self-awareness.

Growth Distortion

We greatly distort the concept of growth. We get wrapped up in what I like to call a ‘personal development loop.’

Don’t get me wrong, I love personal development. I love reading other peoples words, experiences, thoughts, and opinions on different topics. However, this loop doesn’t necessarily result in growth.

Example:

Fred chooses something that is wrong with him.

He thinks, ’I am so impatient, I need to become more patient, so I am going to read some books.’

He reads 1000 books to try to improve. He takes steps 1-10 as he tries to change. He takes other peoples words, experiences, and opinions and he tries to put them on like a mask.

And this is fine, but it’s not growth.

Because he can do this for ten years just to discover that nothing has changed. He is still impatient.

He has read someones opinion on what he is trying to solve and now he is trying to implement it in his life. But this doesn’t address the core issue. This doesn’t touch his subconscious mind, or reveal why he has decided to be impatient.

Self-Acceptance Distortion

We also distort the concept of self-acceptance. We get wrapped up in what I like to call a ‘positivity loop.’

Example:

Fred decides to accept who he is, and where he is. Because he decides to be happy and grateful for who he is and what he has, he cannot grow and change.

Why would he change? He is happy with who he is and what he has created with his life.

And that is great, but it is a positivity loop. Fred isn’t living to be the best that he can be. He isn’t allowing himself to grow or change because he isn’t allowing himself to see his weaknesses.

He isn’t allowing himself to have aspirations, goals, or dreams that would require change and growth.

Falling In A Loop

In a personal development loop you only see the things you call ‘bad’ about yourself.

In a positivity loop you only see the things you call ‘good’ about yourself.

But in my opinion, true growth starts with self-acceptance, and both of the above views aren’t reality.

If you practice self-acceptance correctly it will lead you to true growth and real change.

Self-acceptance is seeing reality. It’s accepting your thoughts and feelings without trying to change them. It is accepting where you are, who you are, and what you are doing without wishing it we’re all different.

Instead of looking at your anger, deciding it’s wrong, and deciding you can fix it… You simply accept the anger.

Most people do not understand what this means.

When the anger comes, instead of looking at it saying, ‘no no no, I don’t want to be an angry person, why am I so angry, go away!!’

Look at the anger and say ‘I love you, you can stay, you are part of what makes me who I am, I am done pushing you away.’

Sit with your anger and you allow yourself to feel it fully. Expand it in your body. See it objectively, ask what it wants to show you.

By practicing this process, your anger will transmute and it may even bring you some happy surprises.

Limiting Beliefs

You might see a root belief.

Somewhere along the line something happened to you and you made a subconscious decision. This decision is what triggers your anger.

Example:

Fred’s mom spanked his bottom in front of his family when he was three. He felt pain, humiliation, and anger. In that moment he decided that the people he loves hurt him the most.

Fast forward to today.

Now every time his son interrupts him, he responds in extreme anger.

And his anger is protecting him from being hurt by the person he loves most.

About Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are real things inside of our bodies. They create density, which can easily grow into physical decay and illness when being resisted.

On the other hand, when we accept a belief we are healing/ integrating/ clearing the real density. We are healing the density by seeing it and observing it without judgement, which will allow us to transmute our anger.

All emotional decisions have the ability to become subconscious beliefs. These beliefs run our entire lives, and they do it to protect us. However, this protection does not serve us during adulthood, and it is our responsibility to heal them instead of passing them on to our children.

Once we heal the root belief, the decision will release and we will experience freedom. From that point forward, Fred will become less and less angry while being interrupted by his son.

He will understand that his anger stems from a decision that simply wasn’t true. This will allow him to reverse his decision in order to stop protecting himself from the people he loves. He will stop using his anger as a barrier of protection against his family.

Observation Without Judgement & Working With Life

It’s all in simply observing the anger without judging it… in real time, or later in meditation.

See, accept, feel, work with it, tell it to stay and it will give you everything that you are looking for. It will clear your limiting belief.

As you begin this process, you begin to work with Life. It will bring you the right books, people, experiences, symbols, and signs to help you transmute and grow.

You no longer have to find your books from a mentor or a reading list, because will you receive specific signs that are made just for you.

Life IS growth, Life IS evolution, and Life would love to work with you in order to grow, but it can’t work with you if you are denying what you are. It can’t work with you if you are constantly denying IT.

Acceptance is the only true form of growth. And this is why you can’t blindly follow a mentor, or read 1000 books on anger and get better. You have to find it in yourself and start working with life.

Once you do, the growth happens for you as an automatic process. The right people begin to come into your life and in making these connections, things inside of you are healing.

This whole process also turns your inner-critic into an inner-coach. By accepting all of your thoughts and feelings, you stop judging yourself. You stop being mad at yourself, yelling at yourself, and hyper focusing on your weaknesses.

This happens because your acceptance is creating a loving and accepting space for your inner world.

You are a full spectrum human being. You are allowed to think the very worst thought all the way to the very best. You are allowed to feel the very worst emotion, all the way to the very best. And with acceptance, you are creating a space where they are allowed.

If you can create this space, your thoughts and emotions will tell you exactly what you need to know, and it is absolutely beautiful.

True growth cannot come from rejecting criticism. It cannot come from your inner critic, because it will drive you down into a negativity loop where you are never enough, where your mind is too loud, and where you cannot do anything right.

Rejecting criticism results in a personal development loop.

Focusing on Acceptance

So how can you start practicing acceptance? It sounds very simple but it requires discipline to stay in a state of acceptance vs. resistance, where you push your thoughts and emotions away.

You have to stay extremely focused on the simplicity of this process in order to see your thoughts and emotions while actively allowing them to be there.

1. Keep 50% of attention on inner body at all times

Observe your feelings, sensations, thoughts, and emotions at all times. Keep 50% of your attention on your inner-body, while keeping the additional 50% on the outer world.

Allow your thoughts and emotions to be there. Notice that they are there. Feel them while they are there. This alone will allow growth to become an automatic process. If you can master this step, all of your growth will happen for you.

Do not judge yourself. Do not judge your emotions. Do not judge your thoughts. Allow them to show you who you are. No more denying yourself. Get to know yourself as you allow these things to exist.

2. Your limiting beliefs are inside of your body.

Notice the tightness in your muscles. Notice the pain. Allow it to be there. Talk to your muscles, the tightness, and the pain. Ask it what it needs to show you.

Stretch. Get physical. Go on a walk. Move your tight muscles.

Your pain is looking for love and attention, it wants you to understand that YOU decided to live with this pain and tension, and as you work with it it will dissolve.

3. Think about yourself realistically.

Don’t get sucked into a negativity loop or a positivity loop. See yourself for all of your strengths and all of your weaknesses. Only seeing one or the other is unhealthy, and this hyper-focus will pull you out of reality.

We have to see things as they are and accept all of it. This way, you won’t float into positivity land where nothing changes, or negativity land where you read 1000 books with no results. You have to see yourself as the whole person that you are, with all the things you call good and all the things you call bad.

4. Time

You have to master being gentle with yourself over long periods of time. If you have to call in to work, or cancel the meeting, do it… do whatever it takes.

You have to treat yourself like someone you love to help.

If a friend approached you to talk, you would sit with them and tell them it’s gonna be okay. You would hear them, and tell them how amazing they are.

Yet when it’s you who needs support, you treat yourself like a piece of crap… saying things like, ‘why do I have to act this way, I don’t have time for this, I have to go to work, I have to make the meeting, I am always so dramatic… etc.’

You will need love and space, and it can only come from you. You have to make YOU your first priority. And you deserve to be! We all deserve to come first in our lives.

You may feel a little out there, but don’t worry, you aren’t crazy. This process can be a pretty trippy experience! You are letting go of beliefs that have impacted your entire life. You might need to take a step out of your relationships and get away from friends and family. It’s all good. Every day you are becoming a better version of yourself as you release your beliefs and become whole.

QUESTIONS

If I wanted what is best for myself, what would I be doing right now?

This question can help you avoid getting sucked into other peoples agendas, remain focused on your self-awareness, and continue to walk toward your goals. Time and energy are limited resources, and you deserve to use your own time and energy to improve your life.

We often get caught up in doing everything for everyone, and my favorite question is: what week will YOUR goals, finances, and growth become a priority?

You CAN feel free to say NO to everything that is not in alignment with YOUR goals!

These are the macdaddy questions of self-awareness. We can ask ourselves these questions every day, every hour, all the time… and they will keep us on track.

How can I learn to enjoy the journey?

This process is a JOURNEY. This is growth taking you over, because when you begin to work with Life, you begin to surrender control.

Accept every moment of where you are. Accept every piece of the journey, especially the experiences that you call failures.

It takes multiple failures to get to any success, and I like to look at success as a process of walking up ‘fail stairs.’ Think of it this way, if 10 perceived failures = 1 perceived success, will you be able to make it up the flight of stairs?

Life brings you the fails in order to help you become the person capable of achieving the success. Every fail that you encounter is growth. Can you love them?

As you focus on your goal, and it becomes planted in your subconscious mind, life will bring you every person, experience, needed to grow into the person capable of achieving that goal.

You cannot reach success without happily walking up the fail stairs. You must embrace all of the bumps in the road. Remember, every failure brings with it an equivalent seed of success, and If you can walk through your fears and failures, success is certain.

True Growth

Taking this journey is the path of true growth. It is the most beautiful trip you can ever take. You are clearing real density from your body.

This process allows you to take ALL OF THE MASKS OFF, instead of putting more on. It allows you to reverse every limiting belief, and process every subconscious emotion. It allows you to become your true self. This is the magic of unlearning.

You are a miracle, a once in a life time cosmic event, and you deserve this focus. You deserve to step into the drivers seat of your life. You deserve real growth.